A week ago the world celebrated Valentine’s Day, a day dedicated to love and romance. The women received roses and chocolates from their sweethearts, and the men paid tons of money for the roses and chocolates they gave their sweethearts.
Those of us who are not in a couple got to sit on the sidelines and watch the day the go by. Couple or not, I am sure that that day got each and every one of us thinking about love even if it was just for a few minutes. So here is the big question, does love really exist?
I was looking through my older writings and I realized that back in 2011 I wrote about this same issue. My post even had the exact same title, by pure chance. I read through it only to realize that I used to view love very differently. Back then I believed that love didn’t exist. In fact, I was very cynical about the whole issue. I used to crack jokes about it. Now, I’m thinking that maybe that was a defense mechanism to shield myself from a potential heartbreak.
But, lately I am starting to think that love does exist, yet we ruin it when we think it needs to look a certain way. This really isn’t our fault, as we are so conditioned by Hollywood to believe that those who love us should shower us with gifts, send us flowers, send us romantic messages, and that we should talk to them and them to us 24/7. We even get disappointed when we find out that in the real world we were not spoken to by the person who loves us for four or five hours and our dreams are shattered when that same person doesn’t buy us presents all the time.
When these things that we saw in movies don’t happen in real life, most people don’t think that that is because they and the person they love actually have other things on their minds. Instead, they become insecure and needy. If the person they love doesn’t make them the center of their attention they go crazy. They forget about work, life, money, health, and God forbid other people in their love’s life like the boss, the family, and ooooooooooooooh the other friends that could take up some of the day. Instead, one instantly starts to think that the person in his or her life is bad, and then they fight with them, because their love didn’t look like the love seen in movies. The relationship becomes infested with negativity and eventually it dies unless one person compromises.
Valentine’s Day did get me pondering about love, but not in “a feeling sorry for myself coz I’m single sort of way”, but more in a way that made me wonder what love is really.
Today. I think that the biggest killer of love is expectations. When we expect that our love story is going to be perfect and that the person in our lives will never do anything wrong then we get disappointed. When we assume that our love story will look like the ones we were fed by Hollywood then we will get devastated because the real life version of that story is nothing like the one we saw on the big screen.
In reality, love comes with a pinch of salt and a grain of truth. Love isn’t perfection, it isn’t infatuation, and it isn’t looks. Love is really about knowing one’s self and knowing what we can or cannot deal with in life and especially in a relationship.
Food for thought
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