Mind Clutter

For some time now, I lost my way. I got busy with my full-time job, and other social engagements to the point where I forgot about writing. I would plan to wake up and write only to wake up exhausted and not bothered to instead. My ability to sit down and  instantly find an idea to write about failed me, as nothing inspired me anymore. Everything around me just seemed so blah and I didn’t know what to do. Thankfully, today I just woke up in the mood to write. Do I have a great idea to write about? The answer is no , but I am going to write anyway and see where this post takes me.

Is this going to be the blog post that will change everything, I am not sure, but it is an attempt to feel un-stuck.  Believe me, I read many articles about overcoming writers block. I did the morning walk, the good night sleep, the people watching, the ‘trying new things” routine but it was all not working. My writers block is still there and it is driving me crazy.

It is now 5:00 am, a time that has started to land a spot on my “Favorite times of the day list”. It is that one time of the day that is quiet enough for the birds to be heard and not too hot for the open window to replace the hum of the AC. It is the time of day that is not too sunny for one to sit outside and the only time when our busy house is quiet.

But, as I sipped my coffee in front of yet another blank screen , I was unable to enjoy  any of these things. Instead, my mind started wondering towards an alarming topic. I started thinking about the people in my life who don’t need to be there.

In fact, these people are invading my thoughts at 5:15 in the morning. Yes, I looked at my watch again. This reality in itself is alarming because here I am trying to do something productive with my time, but instead I’m thinking about these people.  I looked at the clock on my screen again and I realized it is now 5:20.   I have wasted five more minutes of my life on these people.

In fact, my mind wondered now to one particular person who has been giving me the silent treatment for three weeks now over some comment I said. The thought of that person now infuriated me because this incident is the last thing I want to think about at this time. It was then and there that I realized that that person is too toxic to be in my thoughts or in my life for that matter.  I made a mental note not to care and I used the power of technology , the magic of the block button and the powers of delete, to erase the technological existence of that human being permanently from my circle.   I figured, three weeks of being on mute leaves nothing to talk about. Now, i am waiting for my mind to follow suit and it will.

My mind then wondered to the boss who made a comment yesterday about my writing that was really uncalled for. I realized that I am still not thrilled about that either, so I made another mental note to myself to discuss it calmly and rationally today in the office. From that point onwards, my mind started bringing up one person after the other and I started organizing these people in my head in terms of level of importance, and when and where I should be thinking about them.

I found myself removing from my head the people who need to be removed and keeping the people who have a space for me in their thoughts.  I instantly felt lighter.  The boss needed to be in my thoughts only during working hours, the person giving me silent treatments should not be there at all. The person who only calls me for favors, should not annoy me. In fact, I owe that person nothing and the favors should stop. The person who calls me just to dump relationship problems on me, should really get lost and find someone else to dump their negativity on, and the list went on from there. The person who only wants to talk and not listen should also go and the person who only contacts me when he or she is board should follow the person who talks and doesn’t listen.

The person who puts me down is not welcome and the person who plays victim is to wake up and grow up without me being involved. I spent the next few minutes doing that and more importantly getting my priorities straight and then something amazing happened. I realized I have been writing.I wrote for all this time, just by clearing my head.

In reality, we sometimes block our goals and objectives by thoughts that take up a space that is not theirs. We give certain people in our lives more room than they need.

It is now 6:15, I can now go about my day.

Good morning

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