A while ago, I placed a status on my Facebook page asking if people preferred getting a bad answer to their questions or no answer at all. I found that out of the people who responded , most of them preferred no answer. I guess people, by nature, don’t like confrontation.
A person would lie to us and we would wonder how to tell him or her that they are lying. People would blatantly be twisting the facts to our face, and we would feel that we need to respect them and not point that out. I guess it is our built-in fear of confrontation that makes bad behavior slide.
This represents another case where we place our reputation over our own well-being. For fear of sounding rude, we let others get away with all sorts of things when truth be told sounding rude and honest beats being hurt in silence. We even repeat praises that mean nothing . We say things like “I don’t want to fight” , “I don’t want to sound rude.” “I don’t want to embarrass them.” The funny thing is that we say these phrases to and about the very people who deserve to be embarrassed, or fought with. After all, if they were so worried about their reputation, they would have behaved appropriately in the first place.
With this analogy, I decided to confront people more and in fact to stand up for myself. Do I sound rode to some, sure I do. But at least, I don’t give out mixed messages about how I feel. Has my new resolution to confront people and say things as they are been easy? The answer is no. But, this is one situation where I choose my well-being over the feelings of others. I look at it this way, a person behaving badly to my face is choosing their own well-being over mine. So, I owe it to myself to do the same. The minute we accept such behaviors is the same minute we have allowed ourselves to be mistreated.
I guess, the only reason behind us preferring no answer over bad answer is our fear that a bad answer will open up so many issues we prefer to keep hidden behind fake smiles and polite conversations.
Truth be told, the world would be a better place if we just say things as they are.
Food for thought