I was recently told that I am good at not judging people for their personal choices, and I was naturally flattered by this association. You see, we are often told that judging others is bad, but the funny thing is that even the people preaching against judgment are doing some judging themselves. They just repeat this piece of advice because they have been told at a young age that judging is an act that reflects a lack of ethics. But let’s face it, we live in Jordan and although I love Jordan I have to say that we have some of the most judgmental views in the world.
Kids are ranked based on whether or not they are good at school. Those of them who don’t do well in school are automatically judged for being lazy. They are also compared to their relatives who get higher marks than themselves. Very few people in our society stop to think that not everyone should be an academic. The same applies to the job status. A person not seeking to go up the corporate ladder in our society is automatically judged as someone who is lazy or at best not aware of the world, when in reality some people do not hold such a high regards for reaching high ranks. For some, a job is only something they do to get a salary and live their dreams. But then again, it our pre-judgment of the way things should be that makes us throw around such generalizations.
We judge single girls in our society as women who are desperately looking for a husband, and if a single girl claims that she is not looking, we judge her as being too picky. A man not getting married after a certain age, is judged as being socially inadequate, a person unaware of the future, or also too picky. No one stops to ask for the real story because we are too busy judging . Just as a girl with a weight problem is automatically judged as being someone who is lazy or best greedy.
Simillerly, a person’s level of class is attributed to their family name, their home location, whether or not their home is rented or owned, where they went to school, and what car they drive. Very few people stop to think that a person’s class is dependent on their behavior. For some, every girl wearing a hijab is automatically seen as someone more polite then the politest girl who isn’t, and a man who prays is seen as someone who is more ethical than a person who doesn’t regardless of what he does with his time between each prayer.
A person who doesn’t know science is judged as being ignorant while a person in love with the arts is judged as being too dreamy. Let’s face it, these judgments do exist in our society, because it is easier to label than to make the effort to know the real story behind each and every one of us. How many times have we been asked where we live before being asked who we are? And, how many times have we been asked where we work, what we do, or where we studied, before being asked about our real views of the world? We probably asked these pointless questions to strangers ourselves, while claiming that we are people who don’t judge.
The verdict is that we do judge. This is a fact of life, being aware of it is the first step taken towards giving the people around us an equal chance to speak their minds without being pre-destined to our opinions. I was flattered to be seen by my friend as someone who doesn’t judge, I only hope that this is always true.