Throughout my life I used to be infuriated by people who throw at me reasons to be excessively positive. I don’t mean to sound like the voice of doom and I do think positivity is good. I only had a serious issue with people who tell me that life is great, everything is beautiful , nothing could ever possibly go wrong, and everyone gets what they want. I used to not really want to be around people who strive to start happy conversations in the morning, or who cheerfully jump at you before you had your coffee to express how wonderful the new day is, or how golden the glow of the sun is, or who point out the beauty of the blue sky. I just never bonded with pointless positivity that is void of any facts, but this Sunday a friend of me explained another side of positivity that I can very much identify with.
He told me that positivity isn’t the blind belief that life is good and that nothing could possibly go wrong. In fact, such beliefs don’t make one seem positive they just make him/her seem deluded.
Positivity according to my friend, involves knowing and realizing that things don’t work out as planned, but that they do work out some way or another even if they divert our life plans.
I then thought about my definition of positivity and I realized that to me positivity is about dealing with whatever you face in life. It is about having problems but showing up anyway to face them, live them, and deal with them. It is about believing from within that showing up is the solution and that just rolling over is useless. It is about continuing to work at whatever you are facing , while knowing fully well that somehow , even in the least expected circumstances, a part of your problem will be resolved.
Positivity is about being an adult and knowing with your heart that you won’t always get what you want but that what you want is not always what is best. It is about living, being, accepting, and taking whatever you face only to get over it with a bang.
within such definitions, I reflected on my own life only to realize that contrary to what I said above, I am a positive person.
You see, I always knew inside me that my plans in some way and at sometime will work out. The road in my life did not go exactly as I had planned, but hey I’m still here. I don’t believe in princesses, fairies, fairy godmothers, or miracles, but I believe that if one does all what they need to do, no matter how hard life gets they get what they are supposed to get. This belief got me through challenges at work, losses of people, and more.
So, yes I realize that being positive doesn’t mean believing that life is beautiful. It is about believing in ourselves and believing that we as human beings have the sense, the brains, the logic, and the capacity to show up and deal with whatever life throws at us.