As we advance in life the possibility of us dealing with difficult situations increases. If we dare to take risks then the chances for hardship become even higher, and if we step out of your comfort zone or even dare to challenge what we have been taught or told by our elders, then the fall is inevitable. Because, the minute we take a risk it is like we have agreed to swim with the sharks amidst a sea storm framed by a viscous fog. But, I can assure you that most of us know that, and we do take that risk anyway. Simply stating it, we are always hungry for something new we all live to avoid the mundane routine. We take that chance on a new job, a friendship, a new relationship, or a new investment, knowing fully well that we might fail . We take this chance because we think to ourselves that if we didn’t take that risk nothing bad will happen but nothing good will happen either and as human beings we are not meant to stay where we are in life. Civilizations were built and destroyed on risks and this is how humanity advances.
With each risk we take our lack of knowledge ensures that we will fall flat on our faces. In my modest opinion, I believe life is pre-programmed to behave that way, because it is only after we fall that we learn something new. So anyway, here is what I learned after falling flat on my face. Remember, I’m in my thirties so sure I did make some stupid choices in my life and I learned these ten things from them.
1: I learned that life isn’t fair: I think we should get that one out of the way and move on. We can’t assume that being good people is enough. We could be good people with good intentions and yet still be accused of being otherwise. The sooner we realize that, the faster we get up from the fall. We could do everything we could possibly do for a job, a person, or a situation and things may still not work out. This is a reality we all have to deal with. The people suffering the aftermath of a flood, the people fighting cancer, or even those suffering the consequence of war, or greasing the death of a loved one did not do anything to deserve this outcome so life isn’t fair. Let us move on.
2: Life has its reasons: Personally, I am starting to believe that life has a reason for not making one plus one always equal two. We might go from point A to point B only to arrive at point W . So, when we arrive at a result different to what we had anticipated it might be because life has a lesson for us in that. I am starting to teach myself to say something didn’t work out because it was the wrong pursuit, the wrong time, the wrong reason, or the wrong goal that I decided to invest my time and my energy in. Wars, death, destruction and natural disasters happen because life has its reasons. Believe it or not, that thought works for me it helps me get over things faster.
3: Life forces us to take responsibility: You see, I learned that blaming others is just too easy, but saying I am responsible for the mistakes I made, my error in judgement, my expectations, and how I deal with an issue is the more empowering thought. We should deal with the economy, the sadness, the war, the illness or anything we can’t control or can control because that is the only way to move forward.
4: It is pointless to ask why me or how can this happen to me. It happened so obviously it can happen and will happen again if we don’t learn to change something about our own behaviors , reactions, or perceptions of the things we can or can’t control. This applies for any situation where we find ourselves falling flat on our faces.
5: I learned never to blame others, society, the system, or a lost childhood for anything bad or harsh that has happened to me. I tell myself that even if someone treated me badly I have allowed them to do so , so it is my fault. If a business deal went bad, then there was something in my planning that had allowed that to happen. Something in my body language, actions, words, or thoughts have triggered the bad reaction. My bad reactions to things i can’t control are my problem.
6: Wallowing in self-pity only makes us feel stuck. This one is simple, we are far better off moving on because staying where we are won’t solve anything.
7: Not saying what we need to say or feeling what we need to feel only creates more internal disputes. If we don’t tell people how they made us feel to their faces and not to their friends or in our Facebook status then they will have no clue how much they have wronged us. This statement holds true to the boss who unfairly evaluated us, the friend who misunderstood us, the ex who cheated, the parent who said something hurtful to us, the person who was responsible for our loss of money and the teacher who graded us unfairly. I have verbal diarrhea so I am telling people stuff to their faces all the time, and I can tell you this doesn’t ensure anyone a great response or a problem being solved but I always say bad response is better than no response. It eliminates the “what if”.
8: Not everyone in the universe is supposed to love us or say something great about us. We could be the nicest people on the planet but someone would still have something bad to say about us. They might hate the way we think, the way we look, the way we act or they might simply hate the way we evaluate things. I learned to say this is their problem not mine. Making everyone happy is impossible and with every year passing in my life the number of people I actually care about pleasing diminishes. This is not because I am heartless but because I learned to care only about the people who I need to care about and they people who care about me.
9: Our dreams are a priority: I learned that spending too much time accommodating other people’s needs makes me compromise my own. Even the day job, the family, the obligations, the friends are not more important than me. I matter and I am a priority at least to myself.
10: Things always work out the way they are supposed to: This to me is a comforting thought , if we do everything we are supposed to do then we might not get the result we wanted but we will get the result best suited for our life. Sometimes we need to fall flat on our faces in order to get back up stronger and more aware.
Maybe you are wondering why I am thinking about these things, well in in a few days I will be a year older and after an Interesting year I could say I am somewhat more aware of a reality I was too blind to see. Maybe next year, I will be less gullible and naive. I will be a year older but whether or not I will be any wiser, time will tell.