The cab driver complains about the economy while the mother complains about the challenges of motherhood. The manager complains about the incompetent employees on his team, while the employees complain about the manager who is never content. The father complains about the high cost of education while the child complains about having too much homework. Everyone complains about the Tawjihi system not being fair, the universities being too hard to get into, unemployment rates being too high, and the salaries being too low.
The singles complain about being too lonely while the married couples complain about having no personal space. The unhealthy complain about being too sick while the healthy complain about being too bored. The famous complain about having no privacy while the common folk seek fame. The poor complain about their lack of funds while the rich complain about their lives lacking simplicity.
If we look hard enough we can realize that everyone can own something to complain about, because it is human nature to complain. After all, it is always easier to find some external force to pin all our sorrows onto.
Whether that force is the economy, the family, the environment, or the society, it is in our nature to own it and to give it the high status of central contributor to our problem. If we resign to this frame of thought then the problem is never our fault, yet it is a power forceful enough to keep us angry, needy, and even a slave to it. Let us face it, we are people who have been used for so long to play the role of the victim, or the person who has been wronged by others, a society, a manager, a father, a mother, an ex, or even the system.
If you think about it, life might appear easier that way. Blaming others or an unfulfilled need, wish, or demand for the sadness within is always the easier way out. Because, when we blame others we are no longer responsible for our sadness, happiness, or our failures. We don’t make things happen but things happen to us.
We feel helpless and we forget that we are thinking human beings. We ignore the fact that we are the ones who are responsible for all the choices we make in life. After all, the employee performing badly had chosen to do so and thus he/she has chosen to be the subject of ridicule from the never content manager. The mother complaining about motherhood has forgotten that she chose this path in life and that she decided to have a child. Even if she did not plan for it, she kept the child so it is still her choice.
The single person feeling lonely had decided wholeheartedly to evaluate their own self-worth based on whether or not they are in a relationship and the famous person hiding from the camera was one day obscure until he or she decided to jump into the spotlight. The person enduring a toxic person’s ridicule had decided to stick around more than they should have, and the student failing tawjihi or university was the one who chose not to study in order to overcome the difficult system or exam. Finally, the person who did not achieve their dreams allowed themselves to waste time.
The hard truth is that none of us are victims and none of us have bad luck. We only have challenges and it is up to us to rise above these challenges. We are responsible for our outcome in life because life only throws circumstances at us and how we deal with them is what makes all the difference. We can’t blame anyone or anything for the bad things that pollute our lives because life does that and it tests us and sometimes these tests push us in new directions. Even war, death, famine, poverty, and illness are hurdles for us to overcome and it is only those who refrain from being victims that survive. Those who grieve and then choose to move on thrive and those who refuse to be defined by bad luck surpass it.
As challenging as this premise is it is also empowering, because the minute we truly believe that we can’t blame anyone or anything for the bad things that happen to us then we take responsibility. We start acting like responsible human beings and it is only then that we can move forward in life. We then believe that the choice is ours and that we alone have the power to achieve our own dreams.
So next time you hear a person complaining to you or blaming something outside themselves for their problems, block your ears and remember always negativity is contagious. At the end of the day, no one is a victim and life is only a series of challenges infused with opportunities for personal growth.