Confessions of an Imaginary Friend -Part Four

It Doesn’t Exist

Finally, school is out. The first semester is over and we have three weeks of fun ahead of us. We will play, we will laugh, and we will go to our special places. At least, that was what I thought when I saw my friend throw her school bag on her bedroom floor and change out of her uniform. The month was December, and she had decided to change my appearance again. This time, she dressed me in pair of jeans, a blue sweatshirt and she made me wear earrings. The earrings were important to her, she wanted earrings of her own but her mom said she was too young to get her ears pierced. As the imaginary friend I wore them diligently, as it was my job to be anything she wanted me to be.

As she walked into her room that day , I said “Let’s play.” she replied “No, I want to color.” I said, “Can I color with you?” She replied, “No you don’t know how to color. ” “But I used to color with you last year?” I said. Pondering over these words she replied “I want to color alone.” Then,  she walked out of the room with markers in hand and my tears on her conscience.

The next day I asked her if she wanted to play with the fairies, but she said to me “Fairies don’t exist.” These three little words felt like blades cutting into my skin. “Of course fairies exist.” I thought to myself. We have been playing with them all last year! “My friend Rasha told me they don’t exist. Anyway, fairies are for babies and I am not a baby. ” she said, as she instructed me to play school instead.

The next day she told me that Santa clause doesn’t exist and the day after that she told me that unicorns are not real. Later in the holiday she told me that she wants to play alone and finally she told me that she wanted to play real games about real people doing real things.

She was simply tearing apart any secret place we went to, and in place of magic,  she built a new world almost free of anything colorful, or even powerful. Her new world was about real people doing things that only real people would do. I played along , but to me the excitement, the spark and the adventure was all gone.

I waited in pain day after day for her to say the words I feared the most. You see,  I knew that sooner or later she would  say to me “Marlin you are not real, you don’t exist.” I knew that she would tell me that I was just the imaginary friend she created to play with when she was lonely.  I felt that  that day was coming soon. But for now, I wake up every morning hoping that we still have a little bit of time together.

Read past parts of this story here

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