The Good Woman.

We often hear the phrase “She is a good woman.” and I can’t help but wonder what that really means? In or society for example the “Good Woman” is one who doesn’t answer back when someone is shouting at her.

To those people making such a generalization, I would say she is a polite woman. She is probably a woman who doesn’t want to turn an aggressive situation into a shouting match and maybe she is a woman who doesn’t want to make the situation worse by responding to a string of insults with more insults. But, that doesn’t necessarily make her a “Good Woman.” just like a woman responding to an aggressive comment isn’t a “Bad Woman.” Maybe the woman we just called good is doing other immoral acts while the woman who responded does in fact have ethics.

“She quit her job and she decided to be a full time mom,” is another popular phrase said in our society with admiration. This phrase is often said just before affirming that the woman in question is a “Good Mom.”    So, here is a pressing question many people will hate me for. Is a woman really supposed to sacrifice her personal interests and ambitions in the name of motherhood ? Is a mother who finds time for herself and her aspirations a bad mother?  If she is actually sitting at home and being a mom in response to a pressing maternal instinct then all the power to her. Bet, if she does also remember that she is an individual first and a mother second then good for her too.

See, if a stay-at-home mom a “Good mom” why do we also say a mother is good if she works to help her husband? Isn’t this a contradiction? Why do we admire the woman who is working and contributing to the family income while we call the woman who is working for herself selfish. Personally, I admire them both but I really think it has to be one way or the other. Either they are both “good” or they are both “Bad”.

If we were to look at these statements individually, the answer is that they do contradict each other. But, if we were to look at them together, we would see that they all have one thing in common. In all three scenarios, the woman is weak. She is either not responding to an aggressive sting of comments, or she is sacrificing her own ambitions for her kids, or she is working to help her husband.

In our society, I have to say that unfortunately a good woman is  a weak woman or a woman with no hopes and dreams of her own and a bad woman is one  who does things for herself, can depend on herself, and stands up for herself. She is often called selfish, loud mouthed, and careless the minute she does something for her own well-being and she is good only if she is weak, silent, working for her home, and living for others.

In conclusion, if a woman who doers things for herself as well as others is bad, then let her be bad. If a woman who competes at work is evil then let her be evil, and if  a woman who doesn’t believe she should only live for her kids is selfish then let her be selfish, and finally if a woman who refuses to be a pushover is rude then let her be rude.

If a woman is only good if she is weak, then is being good really worth it ?

That is the question



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