I knew what you were thinking when you saw the title of this post. You probably thought that I was going to pour my heart out to you today and tell you details of a personal love story. Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you dear reader but this is not the case and I can assure that it won’t ever be. I am still the old fashioned lady who believes that matters of the heart are private . So, that is simply not going to happen.
However, many people in our society may disagree with my views. These people may even consider me old school, as we live in a world where the modesty is out and the public displays of affection (PDAs) are in.
Of course traces of our customs and habits still exist against a backdrop of overtly expressive PDAs. Yet, the rules remain pretty simple . If you show PDAs without an engagement ring proudly displayed on your right hand then you are cheap. Yet, if you have a sizable rock on your hand which glows as you stroke the face of or feed your significant other then you are perfectly fine. If you are not wearing a hijab while engaging in the feeding and the straitening of the hair of a fascinated significant other then you are probably doing more than you are showing but if you are wearing a hijab then you are perfectly in the right. In a world that is becoming increasingly visual, the hijab is a testimony of your religious beliefs and the people around you will trust that you will not do anything frowned upon by society if you wear it. Your hijab is valid if you cover only your hair and even if you leave very little else to the imagination.
What triggered these thoughts was a series of repeated scenes that I had seen played out before me in restaurants and cafes. You see I would be sitting with friends when the proud woman shows up with a man by her side who is captivated by her. I say proud because such women would usually be squeezing the hand of their significant others s just in case he decides to get away. Sure enough, she would have an engagement ring on her fingerand her smile would say “This man is mine “.
The happy couple would sit so close to each other at a corner table. So, the man would have no choice but to look just at the proud woman next to him . He must have a phenomenal sense of humor because the woman would be laughing and sometimes blushing at everything he would say. However, it would be hard to hear his words because he would be whispering in her ear drum.
A waiter arrives at their table only to interrupt their special moment. He would ask them what they would like to order, so the man proudly holds the menu and lists the items that he and his treasure would like to eat.
The woman would have no say in what she wants to have but she is fine with that because the blending of two souls was precisely what she had signed up for. The moment this man had put a ring on her finger she had made it her sole purpose in life to be what he wants her to be and to think what he wants her to think. She allows him to make the decisions regarding their meal because they have become one and even their taste buds have become one and the same.
Realizing that he is in the spotlight , the man would use this moment to shine. He would pull out all the stops and do everything in his power to impress his lady. He would show her his indispensable skills in managing the restaurant menu and with every dish he orders he assures her that she will love it. Of course none of the words would be heard by us but she will nod in approval to everything he said.
After the passing of a few more smiles, giggles, hand squeezes and blushes, the waiter interrupts the couple once again only this time he has the food with him.
Upon seeing the dishes laid on the table, the woman will take her queue. After all, she recognizes that this is now her moment to shine. So as the waiter walks away, she diligently straightens the napkin on her man’s lap right before adjusting her own. She then starts feeding him one French Fry at a time while wiping off any drop of ketchup that may have fallen from his lips. Between the feeding sessions, he grabs her hand and strokes it as they both continued to whisper things to each other. She then would cut up the sandwich or whatever else he is having into smaller pieces . She does that with such craftsmanship and the feeding continues. Worried that she might ruin her image as a soft delicate creature or that she might reveal that her lips are not actually the same color as her shirt, she opts to only pick at her own food.
Worried about her health, the man would then plead with her to eat but he is first met with refusal. Then finally he starts feeding her against her will and she eats her food too only to show how obedient she is. At the end of the evening and after the man displays a golden credit card with such triumph and pride , the love birds leave hand in hand. They sit in their car and that would be the end of their show.
Don’t get me wrong dear reader, I encourage any relationship of any shape, way or form. I believe that affection is a good thing as long as we are honest in our convictions. I just wonder if such a display of PDA is any different than that shown by others who might be in a relationship outside wedlock . I wonder why one is frowned upon and one is totally accepted ? Does the ring make a PDA ok?
I hope that someday double standards would vanish from our society and that we are honest in our judgment.