I Can’t Do This Anymore

Dear Reader,

 

I have been experiencing the weirdest sentiments these past few days and I can’t even put my finger on the single incident, thought, or even words that have catapulted me into the state I am now. However, I am here and  there is nothing I can do about it. Ladies and gentlemen, I am suffering from a severe case of negativity intolerance.

I am feeling lately that I don’t have the ability to listen to a string of negative complaints or criticisms . In fact I am feeling that any form of whining whether it is about me, or about a stranger I don’t know, or even the world in general  is really draining me physically. There is no reason for it to do so, but this is how I’m feeling

I am not saying Amman is heaven on earth, and I am not saying that everyone should be ecstatically happy. I am saying though that complaining and being negative doesn’t solve any problems, but we all seem to believe, with myself included, that complaining has more power than it really does.

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I know that I live in Amman, and this fact alone presents a challenge because people in Amman just love to complain. In fact this is what the men and women here are good at. If they have a great job, they complain about the salary. If they have a good salary, they complain about the job. If they have great families, they complain about the family being too great, and if they don’t even have a family they complain about how much they need to have one.

Unfortunate, we are the worse marketers of ourselves, our city and even our country. We are the first to share on the social media articles that are based on no scientific proof and that simply state that Amman is the most expensive city in the world, the ugliest city in the world, or any other negative designation we can think of. We recite sweeping statements like “There is nowhere to go in Amman”, “Damn this country”, “Nothing is good here”, and the list goes on. If we are not doing that, we talk about the need to immigrate outside the country, and when we immigrate we complain about the West’s prejudice against Arabs .

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Mothers whose kids are in schools feel that they need to complain to the administration about how bad the teachers are, mind you this is only because their kids didn’t get straight As. During the summer holiday these same mothers complain about a lack of things available for their kids to do, yet they were complaining about how annoying it is to wake up early and send their kids off to school during the school year. Girls who are engaged complain about how challenging it is to plan for a wedding, mind you these same girls were complaining about how they were not engaged before meeting the guy who put a ring on their finger. Once they are wives, they complain if they don’t get pregnant, and when they do get pregnant they complain about how hard it is. When they have the kid, they complain about motherhood, and in the background the husband complains about the job, the boss, the money, the school fees, and his inability to sleep in the afternoon because his kids are making too much noise.  He then complains if his kids did not make it into medical school, and when they graduate everyone in the family complains about their marital status.

Perplexed by the ton of negativity our society enjoys , today, I asked a friend of mine “Why do you think people complain” too much. My friend said, it just gives them an edge. I started thinking about this statement and I figured maybe there is some truth to it. Mind you, I’m not sociologist, psychologist , or expert on human behavior, but I am starting to think that maybe people complain to seek this differentiating point, the “edge” my friend was talking about.

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Some people may just believe that having a negative opinion about everything makes them seem more cultured or more exposed to something better. Maybe if they sprinkle their “should”, “could”, and “must” statements into every conversation, they will appear to have a solution for something better. Maybe, if they blame the country for all their inabilities , then this puts them in the status of a victim who is not responsible for anything he/she is going through. If they simply say “Amman is expensive” while they conveniently leave out their unrealistic demands from the equation Then it’s Amman’s fault and not theirs. The unrealistic demands here may include the need to go out to a coffee shop every night, or the need of all parents  to put their kids into private schools. Such demands may also comprise the need to have three to four cars per family, the need to live in Western Amman, not mention the girls’ needs to do their hair and nails in the salon three to four times a week. It is these needs that people may argue with you that it’s their right which makes Amman expensive.

But then again, if the city is expensive because it is the city’s fault, how can we explain the complaints we make about actions that we had done ourselves. For example we can honestly register for a class whether its the in the gym, or a professional course, or even a pottery class, and then we complain how it is taking up all our time. We can fight for a promotion at work, and then we can get it and complain later about the long working hours. We can buy a house and then we can complain about the loan we took. Similarly,  we can buy a car, and complain about the monthly installments deducted from our salary each month. The list is endless, but it is , in my modest, opinion the result of our inability to take responsibility for any of our actions. It is the result, of our need to fit a certain image and all the financial constraints that come with it. Finally, and I think this is the most important of factors, many of us just do what society expects us to do, thus leading us to emotional frustration and a genuine state of unhappiness and a string of complaints.

Let’s face it, the need to complain is embedded in our DNA because if we don’t complain we become void of any real goals.

Let’s face it, the need to complain is embedded in our DNA because if we don’t complain we become void of any real goals. Look at me, for God sake, I’m even complaining  about people who complain.

Well, i   I will stop right now, because really life is too short.

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