It is not uncommon to find the toxic bachelor in our society. You probably all know the type, he is handsome, and he is charming. Of course, he can get any woman’s attention, simply because he promises so many women so much.
He makes each woman he knows feel like she is the only girl in the world for him, little does the woman know that he is making so many women feel the same way at the same time. He also has great sliding skills, as he slides across the spectrum of friends, more than friends, and “who the hell are you” in less than a month. He is the type who runs the minute a girl shows the slightest interest in him, and why shouldn’t he ? Given that so many women display the lengths of female cheapness to him , he finds perusing them a breeze. If you are wondering who the toxic bachelor is in any crowd, he is easy to spot, as he is the guy with five women standing around him all laughing at his jokes. Furthermore, he is the guy who has the women fetching him tea, coffee, and even plates of food from the buffet in any formal wedding. It’s all fun and games for the toxic bachelor after all its gratifying to feel so in demand.
Women will compete ruthlessly for his affection, but little do they know that the marriage choice he made is a done deal. The toxic bachelor will meet women, date women and fool women for so many years, as for him getting married is not related to finding a partner but rather a fixed time frame he agreed on long ago with his family. Hw doesn’t decide to settle down when he meets the right girl, he decides to settle down simply when he looks at the calendar and decides he reached a certain age. It’s all a mathematical formula for him, one he has solved even long before he started looking deep into the women in his life’s eyes and saying charming facts about himself.
You see, once this Romeo decides to seek his Juliette the number of girls he had seen in his life become a figment of his past. He might have sat with each one of them individually to tell her how she was the only one for him, and that the only reason they are not together is his job, his money, his situation, or even his health . Each of these girls believe him, and yet they are shocked to realize that his situation suddenly became miraculously better , in fact they even will think he won the lottery as he is now not only able to tie the knot, but he is also able to buy a house, and have a 7-star wedding with anyone but them. Although he spoke to each of the girls he met about how he wants to know her, and how he is intrigued by everything she says and better yet how he believes that he can never marry a total stranger, he ends up marrying the girl his mom picked out for him. He could have spent all his life rebelling against mom and everything she told him to do, yet when it comes to marriage he suddenly shrugs his shoulders and says mom knows best.
He could be a a Business professional, an entrepreneur, a scientist you name it, and he may have sat with a good bunch of smart women to talk about pressing life issues. He might have even loved their opinions and he may have enjoyed every ounce of their conversation, yet he suddenly decides that talking is not important and he ends up getting engaged to the 18 year old Freshman in college. After all, his mom saw her, she tasted her coffee, and if she wears hijab the mom confirmed to him that she has the exact right shade of brown hair and to him that is enough of a confirmation for the genetic pool and kids they will have together. Even if he spent his past telling the girls he knew how they should lose weight, gain weight or change their hair color, or how he prefers them to dress a certain way, his mom is a trustworthy source that the girl she saw looks perfect.
The girl he agrees to marry doesn’t talk too much, but that is ok, coz the toxic bachelor had enough of talking. Remember, he had been talking for decades with different women, and now he wants a woman who can just shut up and do as she is told. 18 is also a great age, as she has 20 years of child bearing and enough eggs to make him the proud Abu x, y,z, and w.
While he spent his bachelor years fighting with women about their life choices, he suddenly decides that for the woman he marries he really doesn’t care if she is able to make a choices regardless of whether they are right or wrong.
To hide his case of conflict, he would even tell his friends, that the girl he chooses has 3 years of university ahead of her and that he can tell how she will be a genius when she graduates. She must be a genius right, and she is probably full of incite too , as she decided she is better off getting married instead of even attempting to go out in the world and forming an opinion. The toxic bachelor doesn’t care suddenly about brains, and he justifies his choice by saying “I want a girl who isn’t complicated, a girl i can shape the way I want”
While he might have spent his bachelor years fighting with women who asked him after a full year of dating “Where is the relationship going?”, he suddenly decides that he is ready to get married after only 2 formal meetings in the girl’s parents’ home and after talking to the girl in a room full of people.
In his bachelor years he would demand that he knows every nice, ugly, tiny, and huge detail about the girl he had been seeing almost every day for a year, and he would even claim that he has the right to make his choice of whether or not he will marry her slowly and when he is ready, yet when mom chooses she chooses right and he gets engaged in a week after meeting the girl, and married 6 months later.
You see, the toxic bachelor lurks around us all in this society, and it isn’t his fault he is the way he is. He is a clear indication of the severe case of conflict we suffer from as Arab individuals. He has the education and the mind to know the value of a smart woman, yet he is tied down by traditional views that claim women should be wives, mothers, and brainless. He may even be scared of a strong woman , as he was brought up to believe he is the man, he is the boss, and he is the hero, and a smart woman is able to point out when he isn’t being so heroic. She may not care but he does. The girl he marries is also the product of a conflict, she studies, goes to university, and tries to make strides for herself, yet she lives in a society that tells her that her only mission in life is to be a wife and a mother, so she cuts the journey short and decides to marry the toxic bachelor as he was the first and only to propose to her.
Flash forward many years later and you can guess that their their five or six kids are off living their own lives. The toxic bachelor and his bride will then realize they have nothing to talk about. So, as they sit silently together on the sofa, the Toxic Bachelor’s mind may wonder back to the good old days when he sat with a woman over coffee and she challenged him to read a book or watch a movie that will prove how his views of life are all wrong. That day, he may have fought with her about being opinionated, but today he simply misses fighting over anything that matters. Instead, he spends the evening silently watching the TV, and his once beautiful 18 year old bride sits next to him on the sofa silently knitting a sweater for her grandson. He turns to ask her a question about something he read , but then he changes his mind because he realizes she won’t be able to answer him anyway.